Blue Lakes

Bye

2008-08-05T16:40:00.004-04:00

After repeated attempts, I've finally reclaimed by old Rmantraining blog, and can start posting on it again. I loved my first blog, and I'm going back.

Cheers

--Barry

Sea Free Banana Schnitzel

2008-07-29T16:16:00.005-04:00

Explanation
I wrote this free verse (if you can call it that) in the airport, while returning from a meeting in Maryland where I helped outline the summer business plan for Geobibles Inc. I started with stream of consciousness, but philosophical quandaries stewing in my brain seeped into structure and finally the essence of the verse. My personal struggles inevitably appeared, culminating in a restatement of my usual conclusion: Nothing hides from God.
------------------------

Sea free banana schnitzel came wobbling down the cobbled street, a huge pretzel statue-sign on the right and a pneumatic drill shop on the left. Waves too far to hear, but heaving the docks a long ways streetwise and 100 yards really, were greeny with foam.
Probably.
Those rollers heaved deep though, solid color, going right deep indeed. Salty mouth taste and raspy tongue lap not withstanding, sun was shining, (but unhappy skies). Sky was putty blue, and all cold, evening wise that is. Folk about, but just atmosphere, clumps and knots streaming here, running a little there, but no haste

What's a schnitzel anyway? And bananas are sweet but sea free would be better alone, if cold even.
Probably.
I bet that's the problem with a pneumatic drill shop. Makes me think of pounding down really fast and hard, very even and relentless, eternally. Probably. But I don't really know whether a pneumatic drill actually pounds like that--something to do with air anyway--but that something it's like might not really be pounding like I imagine either: Despair, Death, Dearth, delicate dreadful drilling.
Precisely! Nothing so precise, regular and malignant could be random. Precisely not probably in that.
Besides, I've thought it through too.
It's getting cold true, and dark too, but something IS heaving my chest, no warmth, but there all the same. I can go looking for sea free, but it will be no more than a pretzel shop in the end, cozy, people warm, salty, but it ends soon with salt in the mouth to boot. But just like there's a pneumatic drill shop that points not quite south, still proving going south is on the roll, so too the pretzel shop isn't warm. Sun go up, Sun go down then. Waves heave, and sea free recede. I'll go through winding cobbled streets the long and only way. True North. But wait: O God! Either way.

Desk

2008-07-27T19:33:00.005-04:00

This is my desk. I work here all day, all week. I study physics, write geobibles questions, write geobibles tutorials, design a game to motivate geobibles volunteers (questagories) study for my MCAT this August, work on my crazy book idea, dabble with a Fulbright application to Kyrgyzstan, and follow every detail of the presidential elections. I like my desk though. It's cozy, and has a lamp. My book shelf is handy. On the bright and warm surface of it all, you might think all is well at my desk, and indeed my summer has gone quite well.

But I'm burning out. I need to focus, work harder, stop feeling burned out, get myself in gear, work up a little motivation from somewhere. My desk won't help me. What WILL help me? The Seven Habits? Exercise? Positive attitude?

No, because I will only keep working on all of these, trying harder, gritting my teeth more. I need something deeper, bigger. I need my God. He's listening, I'm quite sure, but he's also waiting. He's waiting for me to listen too. That's what I need to do: listen

Listen, Barry

Listen because God is--oh yes that's a good saying it's even the banner on my cell phone and I--listen until you hear as much as you know. Listen until you hear, until you hear the I AM say "I AM"

Explanation

2008-07-25T18:45:00.005-04:00

Pneumatic drill shop on the left= hedonism
Pretzel statue-sign on the right= traditionalism
Heaving waves = sadness and longing for freedom
Street-wise = restrictions of the human mind, sinful condition, etc
Sea = unknown
Free = what we're looking for
banana schnitzel = ridiculous me (and you)
pounding = meaningless and repetitive feeling as ultimate end of hedonism (myth of Sisyphus)
salt in the mouth = ultimate end of traditionalism (too much salt of the earth)
North = the way to God
South = Hell and death ("going south")
Either way = 1st meaning: South (traditionalism or hedonism) or North
Oh God! Blasphemous rage of hedonist/ terrified realization of traditionalist, or rapturous discovery of repentant sinner

Moral Quandaries

2008-07-17T10:32:00.006-04:00

I've commented on Joar's blog several times regarding moral dilemmas and situational ethics. After more thought on the subject, I've developed a new line of reasoning that addresses two central issues. I've also added a cautionary note to close my argument in an appropriate context.
First, sin is either an act of commission or omission. A liberal is likely to err by a sin of commission, while a conservative is likely to err by a sin of omission. One can commit almost any heinous sin by employing situational ethics, but it's equally possible to allow almost any heinous sin by affecting a pious regard for God's word.

Second, humans are finite. Both liberals and conservatives often assume to know ahead of time what can or cannot be done, based on their interpretations of what the Bible says. As God's finite servants, however, we have neither the right nor the capacity to solve hypothetical moral dilemmas.

Liberals and conservatives are both guilty of the charges they bring against each other. No theological camp is any more immune to presumption or intellectualism than another. One thing is for sure: we're all clamouring like pigs for every scrap of righteous indignation, personal sincerity, and pious regard for Christian duty that we can plaster into our arguments. Grand, authoritative, and commanding prose seem to slap on the scraps with the most effect, but in the end, everything just flakes away, revealing a distressingly naked truth: we're all just a bunch of bellicose intellectuals, pontificating so loudly, we can't hear the Devil's laughter.

We're on a walk, alternating right with left at every step. Our eyes are fixed on the light of God's love which never deviates, never grows dim, always tells us where that next foot needs to go. To gain direction for the future we remember how God has led in the past.

What does it say to you?

2008-06-27T11:46:00.000-04:00

2008-06-18T14:57:00.001-04:00

I camped at Green Brier Island for ten days in May. Dr Ekkens was the professor and I was one of 11 students. Every day we studied wild flowers in the Smoky Mountains, for Greenbrier Island was just outside Great Smoky Mountain National park. A concrete bathroom and shower house sat near the campground entrance, out in the open with lots of closely mown grass all around. It was pleasant to walk over when the sun was shining, and it was during walks to and from this all important concrete destination that I laid plans to write a book about freedom.

Salient outlines of my plan coalesced with no apparent pattern, mainly because my ruminations never lasted longer than my trips. Among other things, writing up my journal, making a fire, eating, and socializing were automatically higher priorities upon my return. I would speed hike the Appalachian trail, devastate the Hobbesian view of government, combining both endeavors with a fast paced travelogue of my experiences hiking through most of the original colonies. I would juxtapose blisters, bears, and back aches with my quest for freedom's essence, soothing post modern angst with insights from both. It is June now, and my life is far too hectic to seriously rethink my outline. I just need to decide whether the outline will become my consuming passion for the next year or simply a curious idea, cooked up on sunny walks to the privy of Green Brier Island.

At any rate, I've done some work on the philosophical presuppositions for the book, and hope to post them here for review later this summer. As some might guess from my earlier work on original thought, I understand freedom to be centered in the interplay between the individual and the community.

2008-05-21T12:49:00.009-04:00

(From my class Smoky Mountain Flora)

Freedom

2008-05-19T18:38:00.005-04:00

I camped at Green Brier Island for ten days in May. Dr Ekkens was the professor and I was one of 11 students. Every day we studied wild flowers in the Smoky Mountains, for Greenbrier Island was just outside Great Smoky Mountain National park.

A concrete bathroom and shower house sat near the campground entrance, out in the open with lots closely mown grass all around. It was pleasant to walk over there when the sun was shining, even if management wasn't too particular about missing a day of cleaning. It was during walks to and from this all important concrete destination that I laid plans to write a book about freedom. Salient outlines of my plan coalesced with no apparent pattern, mainly because my ruminations never lasted longer than my trips. Among other things, writing up my journal, making a fire, eating, and socializing were automatically higher priorities upon my return. I would speed hike the Appalachian trail, devastate the Hobbesian view of government, combining both endeavors with a fast paced travelogue of my experiences hiking through most of the original colonies. I would juxtapose blisters, bears, and back aches with my quest for freedom's essence, soothing post modern angst with insights from both.

It is June now, and my life is far too hectic to seriously rethink my overall outline. I just need to decide whether the outline will become my consuming passion for the next year, or simply a curious idea, cooked up on sunny walks to the privy of Green Brier Island.
At any rate, I've done some work on the philosophical presuppositions for the book, and hope to post them here for review later this summer. As some might guess from my earlier work on original thought, I understand freedom to be centered in the interplay between the individual and the community.

done

2008-04-30T20:13:00.003-04:00

I'm trying to get a grip on what my year as SA president has done to me. I have done many things, been done to, and am now finally done with both. I feel finalized.

I learned much, most painfully about my own failures as a leader. I learned potential is not an intrinsic quality, but merely the measure of how well we know our limitations. I haven't the slightest clue how people really work any more, but have a few grains of experience on how to deal with them anyway.

Ambition sleeps for the moment, waiting to pounce. For now I am done. Soon I can start becoming wise again.

GeoBibles

2008-03-29T08:00:00.002-04:00

GeoBibles
GEOBibles is a grassroots Internet based ministry, dedicated to sending bibles to those who don't have access to the word of God. In pursuit of this goal, GeoBIBLES presents a free online educational game about our world, which generates advertising revenue each time a user answers a question. Our goal is to generate 3,000 questions before our launch in June.

How you can get involved.
We would appreciate your help in making questions and recruiting people. Questions should range from basic to highly advanced.

We have picked a question format in which the correct answer is the odd member in a set of related things. Each question must have a clue, showing the relationship. The clue points directly to whatever characteristic excludes the odd member.
Here is a simple example

"Man's best friend"

A. Ocelot
B. Great Pyrenees
C. Doberman Pincher
D. Beagle
E. Great Dane

"A" is the correct answer because it doesn't fit. As the clue indicates, all the others are related by being a breed of dog.

Pledge
We need your help in generating questions for our question bank. We think there are several ways to generate questions

Please consider making a pledge for

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Name________________________

Professors to contact
Lisa Diller
Dr. Samaan
Don Leatherman
Dr. MontagueDr. Martin
Dr. Parker
Dr. Hasel
Dr. Para
Dr. Keyes
Dr. Ekkens
Dr. Aagaard
Dr. Barnhurst
Dr. Kuhlman
Dr. King
Dr. Azevado
Dr. Rachel Bird
Dr. Haluska
Dr. Erickson
Dr. Morris
Dr. Ashton
Dr. Ball
Ray and Lorrie Minner
Dr. Foster
Dr. Blanco
Gordon Bietz
Dr. Pettingbone
Dr. Peach
Dr. Macarthur
Dean Negron--ask him for list of college bowl participants
Librarians

Students
Beihls
Darin Havner
Raymond Thompson
Jonathan Schilling
Sarah Belinksi
Adam Litchfield
Ben foote
Writing center employees
Education Majors--projects?
Kristin Thomas
SEYC/OPEN door mailing list
SA mailing list
Bible work mailing list
Scott Kabel
Hermanns
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Adventist Forum
Shaunda Helm,
BCU
Asian Club
LAC
SLC mailing list
Gym masters
Orchestra,
Band
Choir
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Campus Ministries
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Dr Wohlers
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Doug Frood
David Huisman
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Ed Wright
UNET
Class email list
Faculty net

Founder and CEO
Paul T. Howe, Washington and Lee University School of Law

Graphic Designer
Morgan Griffiths, Freelance Web Designer

Database Builder
Troy Elliot

Marketing and Question Building Organizer
Taylor Paris Southern Adventist University

Wha-da-ya-know?

2008-03-15T16:48:00.005-04:00

I found the following argument online

1. God's being omniscient implies that if Jones mows his lawn on Saturday afternoon, then God believed at an earlier time that Jones would mow his lawn on Saturday afternoon.
2. Necessarily, all of God's beliefs are true.
3. No one has the power to make a contradiction true.
4. No one has the power to erase someone's past beliefs, that is, to bring it about that something believed in the past by someone was not believed in the past by that person.
5. No one has the power to erase someone's existence in the past, that is, to bring it about that someone who did exist in the past did not exist in the past.
6. So if God believed that Jones would mow his lawn on Saturday afternoon, Jones can refrain from mowing only if one of these conditions is true:
(i) Jones has the power to make God's belief false.
(ii) Jones has the power to erase God's past belief.
(iii) Jones has the power to erase God's past existence.
7. Alternative (i) is impossible. (This follows from steps 2 and 3).
8. Alternative (ii) is impossible. (This follows from step 4).
9. Alternative (iii) is impossible. (This follows from step 5).
10. Therefore, if God believes that Jones will mow his lawn on Saturday afternoon, Jones does not have the power to refrain from mowing his lawn on Saturday afternoon.

And here's my rebuttal
It is entirely possible to have a coherent picture of an omniscient God who also gives us freedom of choice. The above argument is merely a clever misrepresentation of the real case.

God believes Jones will mow the lawn. Since God's beliefs can never be wrong, Jones can only do what God believes will happen. Therefore, Jones has to mow the lawn, and has no free choice. In other words, God's belief that Jones will mow the lawn forces Jones to mow the lawn. A corollary to this argument must be that God's beliefs about the future are be based on eventualities under his direct control. If we say that Jones is forced into mowing the lawn because God believes he will mow the lawn, then we're also saying that God was controlling the circumstances.

This whole argument is based on one crucial idea: God must always be right

The assumption is that God must always be in control in order to be always right. This assumption makes sense. God's control of the situation clearly explains why he would know everything and always be right. In such a paradigm, the argument holds well, and we either embrace Calvinism or agree that God does not know everything.

My question is this: why can't God relinquish control of something, and still be fully aware of its final outcome? This situation wouldn't be humanly possible, so there's no way to demonstrate its possible validity, but in proposing things about an infinite God, we are allowed to use our imaginations. We are at a cross roads: On one side, we have a mysterious belief produced by imagination. On the other, we have a belief firmly rooted in logic and human experience. Which kind of belief is superior? I believe, in fact, this difference in approach is a key to the difference between Greek and Hebrew thinking, and closer to home, the difference between a lawyer and a scientist. The scientist and Hebrew create an imaginary(or perhaps inspired in the case of the Hebrew prophets) explanation which fully satisfies pre-determined requirements. The Lawyer and Greek scorn pre-determined requirements and the imagination necessary to make them explicable, but rather seeks to navigate uncharted waters with reason alone, with no more burning exigency driving their quest than what reason itself can reveal.

In this case, I'm more scientist and Hebrew than lawyer and Greek. The pre-determined requirements are these
1) God is as big, in every way, as possible
2) God is love, in every way, as much as possible
3)The less God knows and controls, the smaller he is
4) The less God gives us free choice, the less loving he is

Here's the best way to slice the cake
1) God knows everything and controls everything (he's infinitely big)
2) God has given us free will (he's infinitely loving)

God has given us free will, and relinquished his direct initial control over us by doing so. However, the control God ultimately gains through a voluntary love produced by our free will choice is far greater and more comprehensive than tyrannical control produced by subjects in servility. Control gained from those who love outbalances loss of control from those who hate. Furthermore, God is so big that he can still know everything about our decisions even if he has chosen not to control those decisions.

In this context, condition(i) is impossible only because Jones can never decide against what he will ultimately decide to do. The finality of Jones' free will choice doesn't make it any less free. God knows Jones will make this final choice, but it is the finality of the choice itself, not God's knowledge of the finality, which makes it binding. Suppose Jones decides not to mow the lawn, but then mysteriously discovers himself taking out the mower. Does a lack of finality destroy or secure his freedom? No matter how desperately we want to avoid the binding nature of our final decisions, they remain. How can we take this commonplace reality and construe it as a marriage between foreordaining and foreknowledge?

Jones may know ahead of time that God knows what choice he will make, but unless Jones knows what God knows, he can never really be in a restricted position. In other words, a precondition of free will is that we cannot know ahead of time what choice we will actually make (unless we embrace the logically absurd idea that I can know what I will decide before I decide it) In fact, in order to achieve salvation, we must constantly relinquish our free wills to God so that, in Him--and only in Him--we can know for certain that we will choose for Him.
God: I am giving you free will
Jones: Do you know what I'm about to decide?
God: I can't tell you
Jones: Do you know?
God: Yes
Jones: Why won't you tell me?
God: You could never submit to me if I did
Jones: What happens if I submit?
God: We'll be one
Jones: Will you tell me then?
God: Then, and only then, you will already know

Some think that God can't say because he doesn't know. I think God can't say because he wants Jones to keep his free will. I know that for the rest of my future, I will make a very definite set of decisions. There will be no gray area, no wiggle room, and no options for change. That's because at every decision, God will give me the chance to exercise my free will in an emphatic, totally determining manner. Just because God knows that I will make such choices doesn't make them less free.

Just a thought

2008-02-27T05:55:00.002-05:00

Hosea 12:3-4

Wrestling Jacob by Charles Wesley

"I just wanna be a sheep" vs "A Mighty Fortress is Our God"

2008-01-29T11:24:00.000-05:00

When we realize we're all sheep, we'll seek the protection of God, our mighty fortress. We're all saying the same thing, so what's the big deal?

Read Shakespeare's Sonnet 29

When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heav'n with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate.
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

Imagine me, an aspiring young talent. I figure out that people really just want love, stripped of stuffiness and pretension. I'll do one much better than Shakespeare. Here it is:

When I’m depressed, I think of you, and feel better

I include a refrain

And...................I'll..................FEEL.......................Better!!!!!!!!!!!!
And...................I'll..................FEEL.......................Better!!!!!!!!!!!!
And...................I'll..................FEEL.......................Better!!!!!!!!!!!!
And...................I'll..................FEEL.......................Better!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Repeat as often as needed to obtain desired effect)

The Promise

2008-01-28T05:39:00.000-05:00

Rom 15:3 quotes Psalm 69:9, which is a prophecy (promise) that Christ will bear our reproach
Rom 15:4 scriptures like psalm 69:9 allow us to have hope
Rom 8:24 We are saved by hope

The Bible promise saves us by giving us hope.

The Bible promise is not a promise alone; it is a Person. The truth, the promise, and the person are inseparable. The Person is the person, the promise, and the truth. God is His promise. He gives himself when He gives a promise. The words of the Bible promise are the Person.

John 1:1

Revised roughness

2008-01-25T05:59:00.001-05:00

It's still rough, but it's growing--see previous "(rough) thoughts on Elwyn's lectures"
As I said before, you're welcome to participate in this project, because I'm using Google Docs, and I can share the document with you.

Sola Scriptura: (The claim)
The Bible is
--its own interpreter
--inspired by God
--ultimate standard of truth

How do we know Sola Scriptura is important?
A) Only the Bible promises that God does the work of making us good AND has promises (prophecy) which have come true
2 Peter 1:13 we are stirred up by remembering, and we are not following cunningly devised fables when we remember the "power and coming of Jesus", because eye witness accounts, the more sure word of prophecy, and the day star arising in our hearts are convincing proof of validity.
Heb. 8:8-10, God does the work, not us.

2nd Peter 1:19: Bible prophecy proves that the Bible is not a "cunningly devised fable"--until the day-start rises in our hearts, at which point, we have complete assurance of the truth?
By believing in Bible prophecy, we gain faith to believe in the promise of a new heart, offered by the same Bible. When we receive a new heart, we have complete assurance

B)The Bible model for salvation makes internally complete and absolute claims, excluding the need for additions.
Peter 1:2-4
Jesus gave us life by giving promises. How do promises give life?
Rom 15:3 quotes Psalm 69:9, which is a prophecy (promise) that Christ will bear our reproach
Rom 15:4 scriptures like psalm 69:9 allow us to have hope
Rom 8:24 We are saved by hope

Isn't it the truth behind the promise which saves us?
No. The Bible promise is not a promise alone; it is a Person. The words of the Bible promise are the Person.
John 1:1 God = Word
John 1:4

Jeremiah 3:13 acknowledge iniquity and call sin by its right name
John 16:7-11 Christ sends the Holy Spirit to continue the work of reproving the world of sin, righteousness, and judgement; John 14:15-16 If we keep Christ's commands, Christ will send us the Holy Spirit
John 15:22-26 Christ's words reveal sin, and the Spirit of truth which followed Christ, is testifying

acknowledge iniquity--Holy Spirit reproves

(rough) Thoughts on Elwyn's Lectures

2008-01-20T09:20:00.000-05:00

Lecture 1
{If you have a gmail account and still have notes from Elwyn's lectures, you are welcome to collaborate with me. I'll invite you as an editor to a google doc, where I am writing up my notes. I want to have a complete set of notes for every lecture.}
Unique Adventist Doctrines
Sabbath
State of the dead
Holistic approach to health
second literal coming
1000 years of judging in heaven, not peace on earth
mediatorial/judgement work of Christ
Sola Scriptura*

Sola Scriptura: Why does it matter?
The Bible makes a unique claim, or promise, that everyone is evil and only God can do the work required to make us good. We can further distinguish the Bible from other books or creeds, because the Bible makes promises, in the form of prophecy, which have been fufilled.

1) Does every false religion, by definition, require some human work to become good?
2) Is the Bible the only book which uses fufilled prophecy as a means of self-validation?

The answer must be "no" to both questions, before support for Sola Scriptura is called into question.

It matters because Heb. 8:8-10 says that God does the work, not us.

So what? The Bible doesn't have to be the only book that says God must do the work

The Bible says that God will do the work if we believe His promises, and only the Bible's promises (prophecy) have come true

2nd Peter 1:19: The Bible's prophecies prove that the Bible is not a "cunningly devised fable"--until the day-start rises in our hearts, at which point, we have complete assurance of the truth?
{By believing in Bible prophecy, we gain faith to believe in the promise of a new heart, offered by the same Bible. When we receive a new heart, we have complete assurance}

A Major Note

2007-11-15T19:58:00.000-05:00

I don't want to strike a discordant chord with Blue Lakes. For some, this blog may be a little too contemplative, serious, or solemn. However, too many key changes can ruin the overall effect, and Blue Lakes will continue as it has begun. I am introducing a new blog, which, though still irrevocably stamped with my style, will hopefully balance Blue Lakes.

Tea Tis Salubrious

Dynamos

2007-11-02T21:28:00.000-04:00

We should FEAR

Way up or way down

All around

There are many kinds of power

There is one God

Power is everywhere

There is one God

WE SHOULD FEAR!

God IS

--Love yes

But power everywhere

Get the picture?

2007-10-27T19:58:00.000-04:00

Do you think it's beautiful? It has a black background, hard to understand. Does it represent something?

I guess it probably doesn't matter. I'm still planning to go to bed early, write my Biochem paper in the early morning, go to a University benefactor's brunch, initiate a few meetings, and have a cabinet meeting/birthday party for two of my SA officers. My life will continue just the same whether or not an ambiguous picture has anything to it or not.

My life will go on just the same, sometimes busy, other times insane, sometimes in pleasure, other times in pain, but so what? Is it all black background, with a few surreal swirls, hard to understand? Life--my life--is it beautiful?

Here's another picture. The background looks black here too. It's hard to understand. Clearly, this guy is going to lose his life, but I wonder, is he losing a beautiful life?

Is he losing your life, a beautiful life?

Beauty? I don't know what to say, but just look at the picture. How beautiful is your life?

My Sabbath Rest?

2007-10-12T23:40:00.000-04:00

It is Sabbath. It is 11:06 pm. I am tired. It has been a long week. Somehow, I don't feel that tired. Still, I wonder if I should go to bed and write a post tommorow. However, tommorow will be busy, and I want my say tonight, before the morning begins, before my mind slows down.

I will play a negro spiritual on my Violin tomorrow. Special music fell through at the last minute. David Gerrans and I are stepping in. You see, DEEP Sabbath is upon us at Southern. DEEP means Diversity Educational Exchange Program. Students from Oakwood visit Southern this semester. Next semester, Southern visits Oakwood. Planning DEEP Sabbath has made for a long week, a tiring week, a late week.

Yet through it all, I don't feel tired like I should. It's like taking a long run. When the rhythm sets in, the run is not so hard. But rhythm must set, for I cannot set it. There is no active role to play. Yet no. I must have just lied, for in way, rhythm comes from me, my own rhythm, as basic as the beat of a beating heart. I get my rhythm, not from activity or passivity, but through their simply profound juxtaposition.

This whole thought is running together in my mind now, and I think it's going to be a long run. Something about music reminds me. Sabbath too for that matter. And now I just need to figure in my weary mind, somehow not exhausted. Maybe the dots will connect in morning light, because light follows dark. I'm tired. rhythm is good. It is Sabbath

Quo Vadis?

2007-10-07T21:09:00.000-04:00

I tell people that my dream is to be a diplomat in Central Asia. What's your dream? I have reached the conclusion that it is better to live than survive. Someone that lives may not survive for long, but someone that merely survives will never live. A courageous, idealistic individualist is not a cool person. A cool person adheres effortlessly to status, popularity, and materialism.

I tell people that my dream is to be a diplomat in Central Asia. I simply hope I am a courageous, idealistic individualist, because such people are able to live. You see, living is about more than finding your dreams. Living is about taking your dream as an opportunity to reach for the character and personality of God. Doesn't he know us altogether anyway?

Back in Business

2007-10-05T22:02:00.001-04:00

I'm back at it. Please be patient with my drastic overhauls. It's time I got this blog up to speed.

Musings 9:38PM-10:45PM

2007-09-28T21:38:00.000-04:00

There are two kinds of depression. The first kind of depression leads to the black hole. The second kind of depression leads to the Rock.

We can think about depression in many ways. For instance, I am depressing the comfy pad of my chair as I type. This kind of depression involves a decrease in size, particularly with soft material. Leadership responsibility has depressed me, and I often feel quite small and soft.

There's a part of leadership that nobody says much about. It's the part where the leader has to act like he knows what needs to be done and how to do it. I'm acting. I don't know what needs to be done or how to do it. I could show you page after page of scribbled lists, names, dates, diagrams, and ideas. If pressed, I could eloquently explain the high-minded ideals of unity, solidarity, and Christian authenticity which I call the ultimate source of my specific plans. Should you ask for specific plans, I could outline strategy, explain road-blocks, and wisely explain the steps we must take for success.

When I was done explaining, conversation would lag. I would lean back in my chair, depressing more pad. You would politely avoid asking why my vision and plans don't jive with reality, after well over a month of "leadership". Uncomfortable silence would ensue. I would be making a torrent of reasonable excuses in my mind. Eventually, I would take stock and consign them all to a mental dumpster. Trash.

But let me tell you something else about leadership. Sitting there in my chair, an immobile, idiotic dummy, I might begin to feel depressed, very small, perhaps infinitely small, so small that I stop thinking about myself. If you waited a few minutes, my depression might hit a rock bottom. If I came to rest on this rock, my size would be zero. Zero is a special number, evoking a new kind of infinity, completely free of the slightest taint of smallness. And the Rock I would be resting on wouldn't compress. A smile would begin to creep over my wan, fatigue-weakened face.

It's 10:45PM.

And I'm smiling.

Blogs

2007-08-14T21:40:00.001-04:00

Adri
A Word Among Friends
Caitlin
Christy
Don
Evan
Home Blog
Joel
Jonathan
John
Julie
Kristin
Grace
Paul
Petra
Martina
Robby
Ted
Thomson

My bed

The Other Cabin

2007-07-31T08:40:00.000-04:00

Our house was built on the old site of a girl-scout camp. All that remains of the lodge is a grand old chimney, sitting picturesquely in the middle of our yard. However, two of the old cabins remain. Dad rebuilt one of the cabins for Paul and Petra to stay in over the summer. Now, we're working on the other cabin.

First, we worked on the foundation, a very good place to start. Next we built the platform for hideaway bed alcove. Completely replacing the roof is our current project. Taking the old roof off occurred at a rapid pace, thanks to Dad's typical cunning. We used a Saws-all to cut all the way around the top of the wall, leaving the roof sitting free on the house. We then cut the roof in sections, and pulled them off. No point in ripping the shingles off first when you've got four groaning, strained backs to push sections to the edge! Our favorite toy, the tractor, took a supporting role in the drama of exertion.

Uncle David's Work

2007-07-04T13:57:00.000-04:00

Here's a project from a few weeks ago. My Dad's brother David came up for a visit, and in typical Howe style, we got some work done. Uncle David is a professional landscaper.

World News

2007-06-28T18:26:00.000-04:00

Incomplete, I know. More will come as time permits

Indeed

2007-06-18T17:31:00.000-04:00

Something about this fractal, copied off a hit from a lackluster Google of the word "blue", draws me. I wonder why? Fractals are mathematical, yet this one is a smashing piece of abstract art. An aesthetic, artsy-math paradox could hold my attention if described in words, but once seen in reality, the intellectual thrill becomes obsolete.

Just look at the infinite gossamer veil, with endless tangles, folds, and stretch. It moderates an all-encompassing ether of india-blue inky dark. The blue ether, dark enough to be substantive, combines with gossamer stretch, airy enough to be nonexistent. The elements combine to make an inextricable whole of parts--a distressingly impossible situation. But who cares? I just want wave my hand in, and experience, which even more distressingly, would ruin everything.

New Blog

2007-05-31T16:23:00.000-04:00

My Rmantraining blog is retired, due to technical problems. It's time to move on anyway, unfettered by past associations, expectations, and custom.